The flexitarian prescription

… RELAX …  Eat more plants. Eat less meat, or none at all. Eat less dairy, or none at all. But whatever you do, EAT MORE PLANTS! 

A few years ago, I went to this uber cool restaurant in a super-trendy part of town touted for unique vegan dishes as well as a few (albeit a very few) that included local meats. My publisher (at the time I was the managing editor for a fairly well-known regional food magazine which may or may not have had something to do with the swanky table we were escorted to), and I were seated, ordered drinks (shocker, I know) and the waiter proceeded to tell us about the specials of which one happened to contain pork. My friend and colleague then, gesturing toward me said … “Oh, she doesn’t eat meat.”

The waiter responded with an, “Oh, yea, right on. So, you’re vegan?” To which I laughed a little, shook my head and said … Ummmm, no …

“I don’t eat meat or dairy but to be clear, I do wear leather.”

The waiter laughed so hard I thought he might swallow his tongue, which would have been tragic because he was hot af and I have a feeling he uses his tongue for more than just tasting the restaurant’s many, many, exquisite meals. (I know, I know, but I couldn’t help myself.) And I have to admit, given the company I was in (meaning my friend, not the hot af waiter), it was kinda funny as she, like me, was employed by a food magazine and, unlike me, will eat anything placed in front of her.

But, that’s not the point of this post. Although it would be a fun path to walk down for a bit, I’m going to try and stay focused on what it means to be a flexitarian.

See, it’s like this. Everyone needs to f’king relax on the whole “doesn’t eat meat,” thing. Yes, I follow a mostly plant-based diet. Yes, I steer clear of dairy (except for Brie and I use half-half in my coffee—so shoot me, I mean what can I say) but I’ve never been a fan so it’s not some new “fad” for me. And I don’t eat poultry—again, I’ve just never been a fan … and I could go into the reasons (like the odd thing I found inside a chicken breast once) but I won’t because I don’t want to ruin it for the rest of you. But. Occasionally, I have been known to have a small, say 4-ounce beef filet … and every now and then, I just have to have a wedge salad.

And what would a wedge salad be without bacon?

As for seafood, I’ll eat just about anything so long as it’s wild-caught, and responsibly sourced (meaning it adheres to MSC and Seafood Watch guidelines).

But. There’s far more to being a flexitarian than simply basing my diet on plants and not eating meat with every meal. There are ingredients too … and when it makes sense, I replace dairy with plant-based “cream,” and pork sausage with plant-based “sausage,” among other things … that’s my “mostly” plant-based diet. Get it?

As for my partner in crime, he eats plants too … but he also eats meat and every now and then I’ll surprise him with fried chicken, and he literally melts. It’s like he falls in love with me all over again. And I know he appreciates it. And since he’s a million times hotter than the aforementioned waiter, and I love LOVE love it when he smiles, I’m more than willing to make him the occasional fried chicken dinner because it makes him happy.

Anyway, remember this peeps, when trying to “upgrade” your diet and your health and the health of the planet, start slow. It’s OK. You don’t need to take out everything that isn’t plant-based all at once. Start simple. Start slow. Do what you can and don’t berate yourself if you falter a little. It’s OK. Be flexible. And so again I say … RELAX … Eat more plants. Eat less meat, or none at all. Eat less dairy, or none at all. But whatever you do, EAT MORE PLANTS!